perth drivers are shit

I have to bring up merging today, given the mortifying display I was treated to this morning heading South on the Mitchell Freeway.

There’s absolutely nothing hard to grasp about merging traffic. The rule is that if any part of a vehicle is in front of yours, you have to give way.

Note that I said “give way”. I didn’t say “stop”. These are two very different terms, and unless you’re slow enough to require someone else to drive for you, you should be able to tell the difference.

For the record, the DPI Safe Drive Handbook states:

When two lanes merge into one lane (and this might also be indicated by signs such as ‘LANE ENDS MERGE LEFT ‘or ‘LANE ENDS MERGE RIGHT’ or ‘FORM ONE LANE’, or symbolic warning signs you must give way to another vehicle if any portion of it is ahead of your vehicle.

You should indicate that you are merging by using your indicator or hand signal.

and this:

drive your vehicle so that you merge smoothly

with other traffic;

Driving too slowly can cause dangerous situations on a freeway, so you are required to travel at a speed that is no more than 20 km/h below the posted speed limit

So here’s the drill.

1. If you are getting on the Freeway, you kinda need to be doing somewhere around 100km/h by the time you leave the on-ramp.

2. If you’re already ON the Freeway, ignore everyone entering EXCEPT THE DUDE IN FRONT OF YOU, that’s who you gotta watch.

3. If I’m entering the Freeway and you’re already on it, it’s MY responsibilty to fit in ahead of or behind you. DON’T EFFING BRAKE TO A STOP. You will cause an accident, or at the very least, a double-bird and an earful of abuse from me (and quite possibly recognition as a Shit Driver).

You’re on the Freeway. I know, darling. It’s so scary. You have to drive all fast ‘n’ shit, and there’s trucks, and buses, and semis, and oh! all sorts of scary situations. There’s even TRAINS running down the middle. *gasp* Heavens!

But please, I beg you - just keep going. Don’t freak out, everything will be fine, there’s no need to cause the 400 other cars behind you to slow to 20km/h just because you’re frightened of the big steel capsules hurtling themselves towards the City. Everything will be alright.